Lifestyle

New grandmother decides she'd like to be called Nanbot 3000

A WOMAN who recently became a grandmother for the first time has confirmed she wishes to eschew the usual ‘Gran’ or ‘Nan’ in favour of ‘Nanbot 3000’.

Gentrification making area nicer

THE terrible scourge of gentrification has hit an area, making it a much more pleasant place to live.

Your concerned nan's advice for surviving your night out 

YOU may be 22 and think you're the bee's knees, but are you able to look after yourself at a club? Your nan certainly doesn’t think so. Here are her tips.

'If only my powers were not so frustratingly vague,' says psychic

A PSYCHIC has bemoaned her lack of accuracy when connecting believers with the spirits of their loved ones.

Advice you'd give your teenage self on how to be less of a twat

PEOPLE wax lyrical about the wisdom they’d impart to their younger selves, but to be honest you just needed some easy-to-follow tips for being less of a bellend. Like these.

No pissing about with froth: Why tea drinkers are far superior to coffee twats

COFFEE drinkers make an almighty drama about what is ultimately just a cup of hot liquid. Here’s why tea drinkers are better human beings.

Tar monster, and five other bin-bag Halloween costumes for lazy f**kers

HALLOWEEN party? Intended to buy a costume but didn’t? They’re lining up to judge you, but with imagination and a refuse sack you can style it out.

The top five Halloween costumes and how they're offensive to Gen Z

HALLOWEEN is about dressing up, having fun and deeming the costumes of others offensive and demanding their cancellation.

Woman doing expensive things she hates to justify living in London

A LONDONER has spent the weekend engaged in high-cost activities she dislikes because otherwise she might as well live in Leicester.

Man hit by wave of 50th birthday parties

A MAN who thought his days of attending large social events were over has been deluged by unwelcome invites to 50th birthday celebrations.