Lifestyle

DO you feel the need to argue obscure points that genuinely intelligent people don’t waste their time with? Here are some great things to bang on about.

A SIX-year-old girl was left distraught after the d*ckhead tooth fairy went to the pub and forgot to take her tooth.

A MAN in his mid-30s thought all his mates were joking about having pension plans, he has admitted.

SIX weeks is longer than you get off in a year, but for anyone aged between four and 16 it’s just summer. Here’s how to keep them busy.

A DRIVER is committed to reaching a car park ticket machine without leaving his car or opening the door, no matter the cost. 

A 32-YEAR-OLD man has spent the last three hours trapped inside a pair of super-skinny jeans in a changing room.

THE gimp-suited prowler of Somerset’s identity remains a mystery but, let’s face it, he or she will be a Conservative MP. But which?

MET someone who believes ‘gin o’clock!’ is the last word in wit? What a great timesaver to discovering they’re a tedious cock. Watch out for these:

SPENDING thousands on a fancy summer holiday but worried about being looked down on by your sanctimonious friends? Here’s how to get away with it.

A WOMAN who told friends organising her hen do that she did not want anything involving penis straws, sashes or getting absolutely sh*tfaced is regretting her actions.