Lifestyle
HAVING a garden party? Keen on maximising aggravation to your neighbours? Here’s how.
HAVE you run out of time to get slim for summer? Here are some weight-loss tips that are even more unhinged than the usual nonsense.
A COUPLE looking through a book of baby names have complained that it includes unacceptable choices like Titty, Krane, Marlboro and McGeorge.
PARENTS of a newborn have found they are still able to pursue their passions at 3am seated on the toilet.
A TOTAL ars*hole couple demand that everyone remove their shoes before entering their home.
A DUCK that is only eating sourdough bread has turned into a right bellend, it has been confirmed.
A COUPLE who tried to make a 'fast, easy mid-week supper recipe' from the Guardian recipe are still cooking it almost eight days later.
A WOMAN woman is still using two separate products to clean and condition her hair like some kind of arsehole, it has emerged.
A WOMAN who walked into a building full of young people working on Macbooks on wooden tables is unsure whether she should buy a coffee or ask for start-up funding.
A MAN’S attempt to use a proudly independent record shop and cafe near his home was regretted within moments of walking in, he has confirmed.