WERE you ever close to being a trendy and popular person or have you always been an awkward loser? Deep down you already know the answer, but double-check with our quiz.
Where did you sit on the school bus?
A) At the back in the middle, surrounded by hordes of clamouring admirers. Even the driver thought I was the shit.
B) Right at the front so it was harder for all of the twats at the back to throw things at me.
When you were growing up you read…
A ) MATCH! magazine before moving on to lads’ mags, which was a culturally acceptable thing to do at the time.
B) Back issues of 2000AD sourced from my local Forbidden Planet. Although I mainly flicked through them to ogle Judge Anderson.
Describe your old fashion sense.
A) My entire personality was built around my pair of crisp white Nike Dunks, and in many ways it still is.
B) My trusty anorak and tank tops chosen by my mum.
The first album you ever bought was:
A) Appetite for Destruction by Guns N’ Roses, which became the soundtrack to many a make-out session.
B) A Doctor Who sound effects compilation album. My favourite track was Gallifreyan Staser Gun (3 Blasts).
What car did you have as a teenager?
A) A white Ford Escort XR3i. I’d drive around for hours just being unbelievably cool.
B) My parents’ Austin Allegro. I’d sit in the passenger seat while they drove me to Blake’s 7 conventions.
Answers
Mostly As: As a slave to popular tastes you were cool by default, even though it sounds as if you were, and still are, a massive wanker. Congratulations, sort of.
Mostly Bs: You were about as far from being cool as it was possible to get. Although if you were young today you would probably be celebrated for being a trail-blazing iconoclast. Bad luck.