A POPULAR high street wargaming store has announced that the beauty pageant it was due to hold today has been cancelled.
All of the shop’s regulars had been looking forward to the event, which was to feature a swimsuit round and the award of a new hand-painted Ms Imperium trophy to the winner, before it was called off at short notice.
Regular Nathan Muir said: “Well this is disappointing. What am I going to do with this floor-length evening dress now?
“They’d opened the contest to all genders, because it was the inclusive thing to do and because the only female entrant was Jordan’s mum, who was f**king furious when she found out he’d signed her up.
“But Warhammer’s as much a social scene as a simulation of warfare set in a richly detailed future, so we were all happy to join in and using our highly-honed modelling skills put together a catwalk. Then had to repair and reinforce it once Big Chris had a go.
“I’d chosen my outfits, I’d done what’s left of my hair, I’d rehearsed my answer for the interview segment – I was going to ask for world peace, and football to be replaced with live televised Blood Bowl tournaments – so it’s a bit of a let-down.”
Applicant and frequent shopper Stephen Malley said: “Of course, I knew I would storm it, just like I storm every battle with my Adeptus Mechanicus Technoarcheologist army, but I admit part of me worried about being objectified by hordes of horny women.”
Shop manager Martin Bishop said: “I just couldn’t. No.”
