A VEGETARIAN has been worrying about whether her friends have made room on their BBQ for her ego.
Jessica Radbury, aged 23, said: “I was flattered by the invite, but also began to worry that they wouldn’t have considered my feelings.
“I thought I’d better ask for guidance, so I rang the Wholefoods emergency hotline. They said their collection of vegetarian sausages are the perfect way to show off at an English barbecue.
“Then I can make everyone try them, and force them to admit that it actually really does taste better than real meat, and they’ve been in the wrong their entire lives.”
She added: “Hopefully they will have kept my needs in mind, but just in case, I’ve prepared a special separate barbecue for my ego so they don’t get their filthy meat juice over it.”