A FATHER with only a slight paunch and moderately receding grey hair is setting unrealistic beauty standards for men, it has emerged.
49-year-old dad of two Martin Bishop has set the bar for male beauty ridiculously high, making it impossible to reach for normal middle-aged men, thanks to his small love handles and the faint hint of definition in his calf muscles.
Bishop’s neighbour Tom Booker said: “Just look at him. Mowing the lawn in his cargo shorts. Flaunting his poorly manscaped legs for everyone to see. How am I supposed to compare to that?
“Doesn’t he know dad bods are supposed to include a prominent beer belly and heaving man boobs? I keep reminding myself he’s a freakish outlier and that normal blokes aren’t blessed with his genetics, but I’m still upset whenever I see him.
“My wife’s not being supportive either. When I tried to explain male beauty standards to her she just laughed and laughed for hours on end. I don’t think she understands how being bombarded with these images can affect your mental health.”
Bishop said: “It’s only natural to be jealous. But I put minimum effort into drinking slightly less and half-heartedly using the running machine once every two months to achieve my physique, so I deserve to flaunt it.”
