A HARDCORE porn website is convinced its various attempts to celebrate Christmas will be popular with people who went there to grimly wank themselves off.
SpunkBunkerXXX currently features seasonal graphics and festive content despite the site having little to do with traditional Christmas activities such as preparing a roast dinner and remembering the birth of Jesus.
Site founder Marty Bishop said: “The homepage now has a border of holly, snow and candy canes, which adds a lovely Christmassy touch to dead-eyed porn actors going through the motions of anal sex again.
“We’ve also introduced a host of seasonal content, such as ‘F**ked hard doggystyle at office party’. Admittedly it’s similar to our 468,000 other doggystyle videos, but she’s wearing a Santa hat when he comes on her face.
“And there are our countless CGI offerings of large-breasted Elsa-style characters being having sex with snowmen, which will make you feel shame and self-loathing when you sit down with your family to watch Frozen.”
Porn user Tom Logan said: “The 22-minute porn video ‘Tis the Season to be Horny did briefly make me feel that my solitary masturbation was a wholesome seasonal activity, like listening to carol singers or decorating the tree.
“Then I realised ‘MILF bitches getting stuffed in all holes by big cocks’ probably isn’t the true spirit of Christmas.”
