A MAN who succumbed to the urge to knock one out while luxuriously soaking in the bath has immediately had cause to regret his decision.
Tom Logan, aged 34, was relaxing after a long shift when he began to feel horny and treated himself to a cheeky tug powered only by the erotic engine of his own imagination, like the old days.
He said: “The urge came out of nowhere. It’s not like I’d planned candles and soft music. I’m not a pervert.
“But I have to say that while it felt good I had in no way thought through the consequences, which were immediate and ruinous.
“Globules of it bobbing around everywhere. I tried to scoop it, but it was like stirring a jellyfish into a swarm of them.
“I had no choice but to get straight out, so that was my Christmas bath bomb from Lush I’d been saving wasted. And rinse myself off while my relaxing bath went down the drain, feeling like the football podcast I’d had on was judging me.
“This is why man invented the shower.”
