THE furlough scheme starts winding down today, meaning the end of 15 months of being paid for doing f**k all. But how did you squander the opportunity of a lifetime? 

Sophie Rodriguez, 24, beauty consultant

I’d always promised myself that if I got a year off I’d spend it on self-improvement, like learning Spanish or a martial art or to play piano. But instead I decided to spend the whole time lying down, bored and anxious, scrolling my phone. 

Eleanor Shaw, 38, office worker

I baked sourdough, the kids painted rainbows, we clapped for the NHS, quizzed on Zoom, loathed Cummings, went on a shit staycation, cancelled Christmas, developed a weeknight drinking problem, and hated the whole thing. So basically the same as working. 

Martin Bishop, 46, pharma sales rep

I’d always dreamed of writing a novel – a trilogy, the epic saga of science and magic-based civilisations clashing in a far future – and so on day one I began work. I’ve just finished it but unfortunately I have no talent and it’s total shite. 

Ryan Whittaker, 29, personal trainer

During those first crazy weeks nobody knew what to do, so I just played videogames. And as the months rolled on I continued to play videogames, and basically I’ve played videogames the whole time. Have you tried them? They’re f**king great. 

Susan Traherne, 55, airport employee

Heartened by all the tweets reminding us that Sir Isaac Newton discovered the laws of gravity and motion during the plague, I resolved to do the same. 15 months in I’ve got nowhere. I could have just watched telly. 

Roy Hobbs, 61, security guard

Took to it like a duck to water. I’m transitioning to the dole for a bit, then a pension, so I’ll spend the rest of my life on the government tit. But to compensate I’ll watch GB News all day and become hideously right-wing.