Dads deciding what custom-made hearse they'll have for their funerals

FATHERS across the country have seen the custom-made Land Rover hearse for Prince Philip’s funeral and begun planning their own. 

Men who had previously taken no interest whatsoever in their funerary arrangements have suddenly begun to sketch out ideas after realising a car can be involved. 

Nathan Muir, 53, said: “I’d always said you could throw me in a skip for all I f**king care. All that’s changed now. 

“The Duke of Edinburgh’s last gift to his people is demonstrating that funerals, like weddings, can be made interesting to men by adding an automotive element. 

“Personally I’m going to my final resting place in my first car, a 1978 Austin Princess with the estate car conversion and a fully-carpeted luggage area.” 

Bill McKay said: “My funeral will reflect the man I was in life, which is why the coffin will be carried in relay between a Corvette Stingray, an Aston Martin DB7, and a Ferrari Daytona Spyder. 

“Yes, I currently drive an 18-year-old Vauxhall Corsa with rust issues and a non-functioning handbrake, but that’s not the point.”

Are you a toddler? Take our quiz

ALWAYS whinging? Unable to understand basic concepts like ‘bedtime’ and ‘rain’? You might be a toddler. Take our quiz to find out.

What is the first thing you do in the morning?

A) Get up, go to the bathroom and get dressed.

B) Scream.

What’s your ideal lunch?

A) A freshly-made brie, rocket and bacon sandwich.

B) Two bites of whatever food I’m given and then something I found on the floor.

Do you have any hobbies?

A) Yes, hiking, going to the cinema and craft beer.

B) Yes, throwing the Playmobil grandma got me for Christmas at the living room wall and hitting the cat.

Do you consider yourself independent?

A) Yes, I have a job and can pay just about all of my bills.

B) Yes, I can be left alone for a whole two seconds before I start trying to put a fork in the DVD player.

What’s your goal in life?

A) To be happy and relaxed.

B) To ensure that no-one else can be happy or relaxed unless I am asleep.

Mostly As: Unfortunately, you are not a toddler and you’ll have to wake up tomorrow morning and go to work. You may also have a toddler, for an extra kick in the teeth.

Mostly Bs: Congratulations, you are a toddler. Enjoy it while it lasts. There’s only so long your parents will tolerate you because wearing funny little clothes is cute.