International
Supreme Court to rule on eating shellfish
THE US Supreme Court is debating whether America should follow Biblical laws on eating shellfish.
Knox resigned to spending four out of every eight years in prison
AMANDA Knox has pretty much accepted that she will be in and out of prison on a rolling eight year cycle.
Pope insists foot kissing 'not gay'
THERE is nothing gay about gently washing another man's feet and then giving them a kiss, the Pope has confirmed.
Jedi church split on ewok-wookiee marriage
LEADING Jedis are divided on marriage between different alien species, it has emerged.
Independent Scottish army 'would be nothing like Braveheart'
IF an independent Scottish army is not going to be like Braveheart then there is no point in doing it, everyone has agreed.
Vatican sticks with Nazi theme
THE Vatican has maintained its recent trend of choosing Popes who were adjacent to fascism.
Top 10 Pope facts
The Daily Mash presents a cut-out-and-keep guide to Francis, the first Jesuit Pope who also happens to be Argentinean.