International

PRESIDENT Trump is lavishing $150m on the Aberdeen golf course where he will live out his days in exile from the USA.

BREXIT is looking forward to flying out for 14 nights all-inclusive at a beach resort in Cuba, it has confirmed. 

DONALD Trump has denied being this ‘President Trump’ who has apparently done something bad.

PRESIDENT Trump has nervously given Putin a handwritten list of all the people he would like to have killed.

THE EU has asked if this is a bad time to mention that May’s Chequers Brexit plan is bollocks that they reject completely. 

DONALD Trump's team have explained that it is necessary put migrant children in cages and also they like doing it.

MELANIA Trump is to put her interior design skills to good use by redecorating North Korea, it has been confirmed.

THE Trump-Kim meeting mainly focused on what utter dicks the people they govern are.

PRESIDENT Trump has asked Kim Jong-un to join his war against the dangerous, out-of-control liberal democracy of Canada. 

IRISH women have been asked if they could please do something about Trump next.