International

GERMAN chancellor Angela Merkel has confirmed the EU would do anything to get its hands on Northern Ireland, the country everybody wants.

IRISH people are increasingly joking about how unbelievably stupid the English are, they have confessed.

PRESIDENT Trump has spent three years getting away with murder but after ten minutes with Boris Johnson is now getting impeached.

AN out-of-his-box British man in Amsterdam is claiming he can tell the difference between various strains of super-strong skunk.

THE prime minister has confessed to his Brexit negotiating team that he confused Ireland, the independent country and EU member, with the Isle of Man.

CRITICS have hit out at Luxembourg for humiliating our prime minister when its population is only six times the number of people who elected him.

FOREIGN? Then you’re probably wondering why the mother of parliaments is collapsing like an Albanian pyramid scheme.

DONALD Trump has ditched plans to fire a nuclear missile at a hurricane after officials told him it would rupture the Phantom Zone, releasing a trio of super-villains.

THE prime minister has reassured Britain that, unlike Brazil, it is only burning to ash as a nation in a figurative sense.

PRESIDENT Trump has told Denmark that he does not even want Greenland anyway while sulking and playing with his beloved Playmobil Greenland set.