AFTER eight decades of pretending to be a moral force for good around the entire world, the USA has decided to be a big bastard instead. 

Following president Trump’s enthusiastic backing of Russia for no other reason than game recognising game, the citizens of other countries have confirmed they suspected it all along.

International observer Dr Helen Archer said: “It’s been a strained few decades, pretending the United States was a wonderful force for good and ignoring the other stuff.

“But now it’s announcing which territories it fancies, siding with dictators and threatening Europe for no other reason than it can, we can declare the mask off and the world’s policeman to be a vicious, corrupt monster all along.

“From now on when there’s a US bombing raid or their troops invade we can cheerfully say ‘wow, what total f**kers’ instead of having to pretend there’s a higher moral purpose behind it. I personally expect to say it a lot.

“It’s very like the moment in the previous century when the British Empire switched from being a benevolent family of nations to an extortion racket led by greedy plutocrats. The honesty is so refreshing.”

Steve Malley of Lewes said: “So now when I watch an action movie like Olympus Has Fallen, the goodies are the baddies and vice versa? Except 80s ones which are just bastard versus bastard.”