Health

SICK of wearing your face mask on your actual face? Does it feel more natural on your chin? These six people couldn’t care less if your spittle is flying at them.

The alert level has just been downgraded from four to three, which means 'Time for you workshy layabouts to earn money for us'. What are the other levels?

THE coronavirus has admitted it has changed its outlook on life after spending Saturday night in a field near Oldham out of its box on E.

ARE you wondering how the government’s daily briefings manage to be quite so pointless? Here is the Q&A document used by Matt Hancock or whoever gets the short straw that day.

CHILDREN who have been at home for the past 12 weeks have sacked off schooling to concentrate on being a pain in the arse.

A WOMAN who has barely left the house in months because she is paranoid about coronavirus will f**k it all off for a haircut, she has confirmed.

ARE you at risk of attracting horrified stares by coughing in public? Here’s how to style it out.

PEOPLE develop immunity to coronavirus after consuming four pints of beer, drunk people have confirmed.

YOUR elderly parents are in a high-risk group so they haven't left the house or let anyone in for the last 10 weeks. Apart from the following:

THE government has ordered anyone who uses public transport, shops at Asda or whose home is in council tax bands A-C to wear facemasks.