Health

A HEROIC anti-vaxxer has volunteered to be injected with the new vaccine to expose the Covid conspiracy for the lie that it is.

SCIENTISTS have put forward the controversial theory that lockdowns only work if the public actually bothers to f**king observe them.

THE UK government has greeted news of a viable Covid-19 vaccine by ordering a different one made by an old schoolfriend with a zero per cent success rate.

NO ONE is going to put up with Joe Wicks a second time around, so how are we all going to stay in shape? Here are some exercise tips for people who are royally f**ked off with Covid.

LOCKDOWN 2 has arrived just months after the end of the widely acclaimed first lockdown, but will it be a Ghostbusters 2 or an Aliens? Check our rankings:

AN utterly clueless f**kwit has asked a series of moronic questions about how they can behave under England lockdown.

STOCKPILING toilet paper is now a biannual tradition, and it’s just the start of our reliable lockdown idiocy.

A MAN has begun taking a daily multivitamin tablet in the optimistic hope that it will compensate for a lifetime of strong lager and lamb rogan josh.

PEOPLE from Yorkshire and Lancashire are demanding their Covid restrictions are tougher than those in their rival county.

A MAN has explained that during the week he lives a locked-down tier 3 lifestyle but at the weekends he treats himself to living like a tier 1.