Health

LOCKDOWN 2 has arrived just months after the end of the widely acclaimed first lockdown, but will it be a Ghostbusters 2 or an Aliens? Check our rankings:

AN utterly clueless f**kwit has asked a series of moronic questions about how they can behave under England lockdown.

STOCKPILING toilet paper is now a biannual tradition, and it’s just the start of our reliable lockdown idiocy.

A MAN has begun taking a daily multivitamin tablet in the optimistic hope that it will compensate for a lifetime of strong lager and lamb rogan josh.

PEOPLE from Yorkshire and Lancashire are demanding their Covid restrictions are tougher than those in their rival county.

A MAN has explained that during the week he lives a locked-down tier 3 lifestyle but at the weekends he treats himself to living like a tier 1.

AS millions of Britons prepare for Tier 3 lockdown, are you still confused about what you’re allowed to do? Here are all your questions answered.

BACKS just hurt, people in their 30s have been told.

PEOPLE who brag about meeting their 'fitness goals' are to be punished by receiving the Covid-19 vaccine last.

AS the most important part of the UK moves into Tier 2, Londoners will face uniquely metropolitan restrictions. And because they affect the capital the whole country has to hear about them.