Health

A NEW advent calendar released by the government allows Britons to count down until they are eligible to receive the coronavirus vaccine.

HELLO. Professor Chris Whitty here. Here is my foolproof advice for pulling the birds, in the form of a slideshow presentation. First slide please.

A WOMAN is asking herself what the point of becoming an adult was if she still has to put up with disfiguring spots like she did as a teenager.

THE government has confirmed that immediately following this lockdown there will be another lockdown but that it is a totally different lockdown.

EXPERTS say the UK could return to normality by Easter if we don’t screw up the vaccine rollout. Here’s how Matt Hancock will screw up the vaccine rollout.

THE government has announced the order in which a Covid vaccine will be administered to Britain’s population. Find out where you are on the list.

A HEROIC anti-vaxxer has volunteered to be injected with the new vaccine to expose the Covid conspiracy for the lie that it is.

SCIENTISTS have put forward the controversial theory that lockdowns only work if the public actually bothers to f**king observe them.

THE UK government has greeted news of a viable Covid-19 vaccine by ordering a different one made by an old schoolfriend with a zero per cent success rate.

NO ONE is going to put up with Joe Wicks a second time around, so how are we all going to stay in shape? Here are some exercise tips for people who are royally f**ked off with Covid.