A WOMAN aiming to get fit at an expensive gym is mainly exercising a single digit on her right hand.
During her last visit Charlotte Phelps burnt off an impressive eight calories with a TikTok and Instagram-based workout that involved slouching over machines other gym members were hoping to actually use.
Phelps said: “I only visit the gym every couple of months – meaning each session works out at about 200 quid – so I like to make the most of it and really check my socials thoroughly.
“The treadmills are my favourite as you can prop up your phone and walk at a speed which barely raises my heart rate. That way I don’t get sweat in my eyes and miss any important bitchiness in the new series of the Kardashians.
“Each visit starts when I put on my body-sculpting gymwear I spent a fortune on and ends with me posting a photo of my workout from Starbucks with the caption ‘Feel the burn’. That’s as I drink a 400-calorie Cookies and Cream Frappuccino which my body needs to build muscle mass.
“One of these days I’ll find out what some of the machines do besides being somewhere to sit. But for now I’m focusing on the sauna and trying to get off with Alex the personal trainer.”
Despite only 14 minutes of Phelps’ most recent two-hour workout being spent doing something that could be considered ‘exercise’, she did burn at least 15 calories from lifting her stupid, oversized Stanley cup.
