THE government is to remove health advice from rolling tobacco packets because the people who buy them simply do not care.
Health minister Victoria Atkins said: “Research shows that people who smoke those dirty little DIY cigarettes just don’t give a shit about anything.
“I bet their houses are disgusting.”
Rollie fan Emma Bradford said: “I’m not into health, I’m not in any way aspirational and I don’t give a fuck what people think. And that is probably the classic profile of the roll-up smoker.
“I just want a shiny pouch that I can dip my brown-tipped fingers into, pull out a lovely moist clump of nut brown baccy then clumsily drop it onto a crumpled Rizla.
“No filter, because filters are for children.”