Peanut-allergic people have to find something else to go on about

A POSSIBLE cure for peanut allergy means sufferers may have to talk about something else for a change.

Nut avoider Wayne Hayes said: “It’s great that I won’t suffocate because of eating something that’s been in the same postcode as a jar of Sun Pat.

“However that lingering danger was the lynchpin of my personality.

“It made me seem like a comic book character, trapped between the worlds of the living and the dead – the Peanut Man. Now science has robbed me of that.”

He added: “Well OK, I met Pat Sharp in a car boot sale in Carlisle once. Shall I tell you about that?”

Mother-of-two Emma Bradford said: “It’s good news for my peanut-allergic children but bad news for me as a parent.

“I mean, what’s the point having kids if you can’t get vicarious attention from their food intolerances?”

Consider subscribing - so we can write more funny content. .js-article{ display:none;}

Bromley's Jewel of the Raj to advertise during Super Bowl

A SOUTH London curry house has paid $2.2 million for a 25-second advert during Sunday’s Super Bowl.

The advert, which recommends visiting the fully licensed restaurant for food, drink and fine company, will appear in a coveted slot just before the halftime show.

Jewel of the Raj owner Bhupen Bhatia said: “An establishment that is five times runner-up in Time Out’s Best Local Indian category deserves to reach a big audience.

100 million people will be watching the Super Bowl, and no doubt working up a hunger for a lamb kulfi at the same time.”

He added: “Free poppadoms.”

Bhatia voiced the advert and took full-colour photographs of his restaurant himself, while the crackly soundtrack was provided by his 11-year-old son Nitin, who is Grade 3 on the guitar.

The restaurateur dismissed concerns that the advert’s exclamation that his establishment is Only 3,400 miles to 7,300 miles from your location! will deter customers.

Marketing analysts predict only 0.021 per cent of the audience will pay any attention to the advert, which is 0.003 higher than those expected to pay attention to the actual sport bit.

Next story ›