EATING avocados is only possible by visualising a delicious sausage, it has been claimed.
Jenny Cresswell, a self-styled ‘Snapchat health-guru’, admitted the pulpy, meat-substitute is about as tasty as slimy chalk.
She said: “I’ve been pretending to like avocados for years, mostly as a self-serving statement on how much healthier and fitter I am than other people, but nobody knows that secretly I imagine it’s sausages.
“It’s the same approach I take to doing anything remotely healthy like lifting heavy stuff and pretending ice cream isn’t just bloody incredible.
“Could you imagine how difficult it would be to motivate yourself to do that crap if you didn’t construct an elaborate fantasy to trick yourself?”
She added: “Eating food you actively hate and lying to yourself is one of the foundations of living a long and grimly boring life of protein shakes and turkey mince.”
