YOUR local chip shop is now offering customers the chance to pay for their fish supper in interest-free instalments, it has confirmed.
Rampton Fish Bar has announced that it is taking payments via Klarna so regulars can spread the now-exorbitant cost of fish, chips and curry sauce across three months.
Owner Sue Traherne said: “We’ve had to raise prices. What with energy costs, the rising price of sunflower oil and Putin shutting vinegar pipelines, there was no choice.
“But we still want to be there for our regulars, so we’re offering easy credit terms. Whether you want chips, gravy, sausage, mushy peas or a buttered barm, you don’t have to pay now. And no pick-up cost as long as you spend more than £25.
“Payments taken over 90 days. Available to over-18s only. Younger customers should still bring a fistful of sweaty banknotes from their dad.”
Nathan Muir said: “The sensible thing would be to only order what I could afford, but what the f**k. I threw onion rings and a pie in there to stimulate the economy. I’m sure I’ll have enough money for the final payment at the beginning of January.”
But Wayne Hayes disagreed: “It might be interest-free, but you’re still paying full retail. I’ve taken out a subscription at Kebabylon. £18.99 a month covers me every drunken Friday.”
