A COUPLE who experienced a small plates meal at a trendy restaurant were forced to buy a f**k off massive KFC bucket on the way home.
Tom and Emma Bradford confirmed that the service was good and the ambience pleasant but the portions were so stupidly minuscule that they had to gorge themselves on cheap chicken afterwards.
Tom Bradford said: “As soon as I’d settled on my uncomfortable bar stool the waiter said ‘Are you familiar with our small plates concept?’ and my heart sank like a stone.
“We were brought something described as ‘calamari, foam, chèvre crumble’ which for £8 turned out to be a microscopic tentacle with a bit of bubbly stuff and tiny cheese particles.
“Emma took some beautiful pictures for social media but once we’d cut it in half to share it was barely worth the effort of putting it in our mouths.
“Also, they’d done that wanky thing where they remove the pound signs from the menu and just write numbers like ’14’ and ‘9’. I don’t think they appreciated my joke about whether that still meant I had to pay with real money.
“So we went to KFC and shovelled it down our gullets on the train like animals. Emma didn’t put that bit on Instagram.”
