Environment

DARK clouds have started to hurl insults as well as rain at the British Isles.

WOLVES are furious at being depicted on tat including poor quality fleece jackets and cheap t-shirts, it has emerged.

LONESOME George, a tortoise believed to be the last of his species, has expired after a 78-year drugs and alcohol binge.

THE country of Wales has returned to its natural submerged state.

CAPTAIN Scott and his team married female penguins during their trip to the Antarctic, it has emerged.

WATER voles are no longer taking shit off predators, it has emerged.

BRITAIN'S most aggressive swan has explained the mysterious technique that allows his species to break your arm or leg.

RESIDENTS of flood-threatened Somerset have offered up the lives of two fair maidens.

THE spare room you've been meaning to turn into an office will instead used to store carbon dioxide, it has emerged.

KEEPERS at Edinburgh Zoo have received a series of alarming requests from the two giant pandas in its mating room.