Environment

Weather forecasters warn of high risk of dickheads this weekend

EXPERTS are urging the public to take care during this weekend’s hot weather due to a sharp rise in dickheads.

Of course the central heating's still on, it's almost June, says Britain

BRITAIN has chided itself for unrealistically hoping that the central heating might be off as early as the end of May.

Five ways to stop climate change if they weren't such a pain in the arse

WITH catastrophic climate change on its way, responsible people like you need to act fast. Here’s what you’d definitely be doing if it wasn’t too much hassle.

What will happen to Britain's ice-cream vans? A five point guide

THE traditional ice-cream van and the double threat it brings to school gates – diesel fumes and sugary snacks – may soon be just a memory. But how can you sustainably repurpose your Mr Whippy?

Most people still reckon Extinction Rebellion is nu metal band

THE British public has admitted it is hesitant about backing climate activists Extinction Rebellion in case they are the new Limp Bizkit.

Dad writes to baby daughter explaining why he chose steak over the planet

A LETTER by a father to his baby daughter explaining why he chose roast dinners, frequent flying and a fast car over her future has gone viral.

How to feel young again when you've accidentally enjoyed a trip to the garden centre

HAVE you returned from the garden centre with seven packets of seeds and a warm sense of contentment? Here’s how to nip those weird middle-aged feelings in the bud.

Environment 'could have been saved years ago if protesters didn't look like twats'

THE biggest obstacles to saving the planet are the clothing and physical appearance of environmental protesters, research has found.

'You f**king beauty,' say birds as convertible is parked under tree

A FLOCK of birds has gleefully anticipated the treat to come as a middle-aged man parked his convertible car beneath their tree.

London skyline renamed 'the Gigantic Metal Cocks of Doom'

LONDON is to become dominated by enormous menacing robotic penises thrusting into the sky, planners have confirmed.