DAVID Beckham is reminding the world of the extraordinary talent that made him a household name by wearing underpants again. Could you ever equal him?
Steve Malley, market trader: “No. I try to do it just the same as him, I’ve even followed YouTube videos, but somehow I always end up five foot four with an overhanging beer gut, thick back hair and a combover. I don’t know where I’m going wrong.”
Grace Wood-Morris, wallpaper designer: “How is it that he’s the best one at wearing pants, but she owns the fashion label? That’s sexism that is.”
Hannah Tomlinson, egg sorter: “God, those glory days when England could take the world stage knowing they had the best pants-wearer in football in their team. Now all they do is get to finals.”
Oliver O’Connor, lighthouse keeper: “He blazed such a trail for men by wearing tight white pants despite not having a particularly large dick.”
Norman Steele III, janitor: “I actually have the pants he wore for his first LA Galaxy game. Caught them when he threw them into the crowd then spent an hour parading nude while we cheered to the heavens.”
