THE Conservative party and their client media are expected to take their absolute defeat by Gary Lineker on the chin and not bear any grudges. 

Tories ostensibly uninvolved in Lineker’s suspension, apart from demanding it, cheering it and ludicrously claiming a silent 20-minute Match of the Day was brilliant, are planning to forget it and move on.

Denys Finch Hatton, member for Kenilworth and Southam said: “No hard feelings. After all, we love the BBC almost as much as we love the NHS.

“So, even though we had our arses surgically detached and served to us with a flourish under a big silver cloche in front of all our important friends, we’re not going to plot revenge in any way.

“After all, it’s not like our pets in the media resent the BBC, is it? For providing popular entertainment and trusted news their plutocrat owners can’t compete with? So the motivation just isn’t there.

“And, what with us getting kicked out of power for a good decade shortly, it’s not as though we’ve got nothing to lose. We’re hardly going to smash Britain up like we’re the Bullingdon Club or anything.

“So expect no retaliation from us, and certainly not the abolition of the licence fee and that jug-eared f**ker getting locked in jail for his tax affairs. It’s just not the Tory way.”