Business

THE first contestant who manages to sell an Amstrad Emailer will win The Apprentice, Sir Alan Sugar said last night. Click the 'play' button to hear Mash Radio...  

A POSTAL strike across London could leave the capital's skips and alleyways with dangerously low levels of discarded mail, it was claimed last night.

SPANISH banking giant Santander is to dress up its UK subsidiaries with a series of jolly, bright red bow ties, it was confirmed last night.

BANKERS are planning to post every blind child in the UK a poisonous tropical spider in a bid to reclaim their position as Britain's purest form of scum.

LOW-COST airline Ryanair was last night urged to seek professional help.

BRITAIN'S biggest banks will be forced to close for a few days roughly every four weeks, under new government proposals.

ITALIAN car maker Fiat has unveiled plans to take over Vaxuhall, insisting the British-made cars are still not quite rusty and unreliable enough.

GODFATHER of punk Iggy Pop last night requested a comprehensive insurance quote for his 1996 Renault Laguna estate.

THE recession is likely to be the shape of quirky Scottish songstress Susan Boyle lying on her back, experts said last night.

BRITAIN'S tax accountants were last night gleefully flicking through brochures for the Bentley Continental GT after chancellor Alistair Darling unveiled radical plans to take more money from rich people.