Business

BRITAIN'S bankers were last night handed another £50bn in crisp notes to rub all over their naked, trembling bodies.

FURIOUS fatcat taxpayer money bonus and angry meltdown shame greed, it emerged today.

BANKERS last night welcomed proposals for their salaries to be made public, stressing they cannot wait to rub your nose right in it.

THE recession took a turn for the worse last night as new figures revealed more businesses have resorted to using low cost Welshmen.

TOSSPOTS with ironic T-shirts and trendy gadgets have lost yet another place to piss people off after the collapse of Coffee Republic.

A RANGE of pre-digested foods aimed at consumers who are too busy for normal metabolic function has hit the shelves of UK superstores.

LOW-COST airline Ryanair may be an Irish company, it was claimed last night.

THE Serious Fraud Office is to launch an investigation after claims the Rover 200 may have been marketed as a car.

BANKERS have rejected Alistair Darling's plea not to return to the 'madness' that caused the recession, insisting they bloody love it.

MEET the new boss - same as the old boss, the Royal Bank of Scotland said today.