Business

THE government is to turn itself into the defunct mortgage company Northern Rock, Downing Street has confirmed.

THE fall of a Kate Moss hoarding onto shoppers augurs another recession, according to financial soothsayers.

PEOPLE who want an iPad 3 must complete a series of deliberately humiliating challenges, Apple CEO Tim Cook has confirmed.

A VAST floating pleasure palace is the ultimate prick machine, its designers have claimed.

GOOGLE has insisted its new privacy policy is nothing more than a simplified method for collecting every last detail about you until it becomes you.

ELECTRONICS giant Apple has begun promoting Blackberry's unfortunate tablet machine out of a mixture of pity and guilt.

BRITAIN'S unemployed are being offered the chance to experience what life might be like if they had an extra £7.50 a week.

THE Royal Bank of Scotland is being run by someone compelled to spend as much money as possible by a clause in his eccentric uncle’s will,  it has been claimed.

THE 50p income tax rate is raising less revenue than the old 40p one, claim wealthy people who should, if they’re telling the truth, be keeping quiet about it.

BRITAIN'S biggest newspaper is switching its production and target audience to Britain's prisons.