Business

THE collapse of Clinton Cards could leave the UK’s easily-amused community unable to express its banal thoughts, it has been claimed.

A SNEAKY old bastard was last night attacked by people who have made a career in politics.

FORGOTTEN social network Myspace is to stage a comeback by using the version of Facebook that everyone thought was absolutely fine.

SPECIALITY bakers across the country are struggling to cope with a record demand for horribly racist cakes.

THE Windows 8 operating system will come in three varieties of ball-shrinking awfulness, Microsoft has promised.

BOOKMAKERS have stopped taking bets that the next London Mayor will be a bellend.

OFFICES are to be revolutionised by a device that detects challenge­-averse working practices including blame culture and failure to think out of the box.

FRIENDS Reunited has relaunched with a pledge to be not bad at one of the things that has made Facebook enormous.

DOWNING Street has advertised for an experienced prostitution agent.

OWNERS of the iPad 3 will have to pay Apple a monthly fee for all the heat it generates.