Business

FORGOTTEN social network Myspace is to stage a comeback by using the version of Facebook that everyone thought was absolutely fine.

SPECIALITY bakers across the country are struggling to cope with a record demand for horribly racist cakes.

THE Windows 8 operating system will come in three varieties of ball-shrinking awfulness, Microsoft has promised.

BOOKMAKERS have stopped taking bets that the next London Mayor will be a bellend.

OFFICES are to be revolutionised by a device that detects challenge­-averse working practices including blame culture and failure to think out of the box.

FRIENDS Reunited has relaunched with a pledge to be not bad at one of the things that has made Facebook enormous.

DOWNING Street has advertised for an experienced prostitution agent.

OWNERS of the iPad 3 will have to pay Apple a monthly fee for all the heat it generates.

THE government is to turn itself into the defunct mortgage company Northern Rock, Downing Street has confirmed.

THE fall of a Kate Moss hoarding onto shoppers augurs another recession, according to financial soothsayers.