Business

SENIOR tax officials have admitted that their sole agenda is to get self-employed people into prison cells.

A ROADSIDE Christmas tree seller has confidently predicted that business will go from strength to strength.

A CAFE specialising in cereal is the sort of maddening hipster idiocy you would be up to if they hadn’t come up with it first.

A JUNIOR accountant’s disciplinary proceedings were full of festive cheer because everyone involved was wearing a Christmas jumper.

MCDONALD’S has revealed that its nuggets contain locally-sourced boy.

PREMIER Foods has unveiled a new range of bastards who smell of fresh strawberries.

THE number of people simultaneously talking down a static-filled phone line has been estimated as between five and the entire population of Preston.

RAIL operators are moving ever closer to a network completely rid of annoying passengers.

SALES of tiresome penis and fart-related joke products are expected to hit £569bn today.

ALL remaining public assets are to be transferred to Richard Branson to see what he does with them.