Business

UNHAPPINESS is now punishable by death, under new laws funded by Coca-Cola.

SHOCKED Britons have found themselves at a point of 'supermarket compassion fatigue'.

STAFF on a training day were given a cruel flicker of hope when a PowerPoint presentation malfunctioned.

CHIMPANZEES are currently being trained up to take your job.

HSBC is to move its HQ from London and is considering an offer from the pirate king of Somalia.

LONDONERS are competing to plunge into quirky, independently-run holes in the pavement.

SUPERMARKET shoppers have told Which? they are fully aware that they are being ripped off but still want to live.

A MOB with flaming torches has laid waste to Castle Wonga, home of the evil Count Wongula.

COCONUT chocolate bar Bounty is now available in a male version called Bounty Hunter.

PASSENGERS delayed at Gatwick Airport will be forced into slavery on a nearby oilfield.