Business

LIBOR rigger Tom Hayes is to tunnel out of prison using a poster of Margaret Thatcher as cover.

TESCO’S new automated till has the character of a divorced middle-aged woman with a borderline drink problem.

RETAILER Topshop is to replace its controversial slender mannequins with skeletons.

ADMINISTRATOR Wayne Hayes is eagerly waiting to feel the benefits of Britain’s robust economic growth.

THE Daily Mash has confirmed it has bought the Financial Times for £1.2bn.

RETAIL staff have complained that contactless payment means they no longer get to stare intensely at customers while their card goes through.

THE Apple Watch is to be advertised purely as a timekeeping device, rather than a weird little computer.

THE black coven of warlocks at the heart of the Bank of England will raise interest rates by the new year, they have sworn.

TIZER has been named a fizzy drink of outstanding cultural importance by the UN.

A CITY accountancy firm has advertised for a trained specialist to deal with its demanding daily coffee round.