HIPSTER entrepreneurs are planning to re-brand darts as ‘flechette’, leaked emails have revealed.
Capitalist, irony-conscious beard owners have already ruined many formerly populist interests including table football and burger consumption.
But 34-year-old former hipster Tom Booker blew the whistle after finding plans for a Dalston ‘flechette’ bar called Oche too horrifying to contemplate.
He said: “I was working in marketing for the prick who started ‘Horlicks Cafe’ and ‘Outdoor Massive Jenga Cinema’. He wanted the darts bar to have the slogan ‘Where dart meets art’.
“The venue would charge £38 for a game of ‘flechette’ which is the French name for dart. The darts themselves would be made out of some special bullshit ‘hand-carved’ wood and cost £98 for three.
“There were also plans for a tie-in with a major streetwear brand that would ‘re-imagine’ darts shirts for sassy young professionals.
“It’s enough to make you physically ill.”
In the leaked emails Booker’s 42-year-old boss refers to him as “fella” and confirms that the darts bar will be “sick” and that “we will rinse a ton of cheddar out of this”.
He adds: “Do not let in anyone who looks like an actual darts player.”
