Business

A MOB with flaming torches has laid waste to Castle Wonga, home of the evil Count Wongula.

COCONUT chocolate bar Bounty is now available in a male version called Bounty Hunter.

PASSENGERS delayed at Gatwick Airport will be forced into slavery on a nearby oilfield.

SWORN adversaries Aldi and Waitrose need each other on some weird level, it has been claimed.

A WAITROSE within a mile of your home improves your wisdom, altruism and lovemaking by 12 per cent.

BRITAIN has returned to buying clothes from Marks and Spencer after realising that caring about appearances is shallow and worthless.

THE key qualification for being a business leader is the ability to fire people while consuming food.

MEN have confirmed plans to continue going to B&Q on Saturdays, even if it is just to claw at the locked gates.

THE very existence of a new £150k Range Rover is enough to make you want to kill yourself, it has been claimed.

LONDON hotel The Savoy has closed its doors after more than 125 years following a one-star TripAdvisor review.