Business

THE new 2017 pound coin will be a special ‘London pound’ worth less than half as much as the national version.

SHOPPERS at Asda are generally very angry people, it has emerged.

PATRIOTS have hailed the government’s secret Nissan deal as proof that when it comes to allowing multinational businesses to behave as they please, Britain again leads the world.

A MAN has squandered any chance of progressing at work by eating his packed lunch before midday.

THERESA May has announced plans to carpet Britain with runways and let the market decide.

THE Bank of England has promised anyone worried about inflation that soon they will look back and marvel at how naive they were.

NO chip shop is world famous, it has been confirmed.

A MARMITE fan is worried he cannot function without the delightful taste of yeast.

MORE people are finding employment and forming new business ventures through Airbnb than LinkedIn, it has emerged.

A LEADING clown union has complained that creepy clown sightings are putting young people off clowning as a career.