Business

FACEBOOK has begged users to behave like vaguely normal human beings.

THE boss of a small business has compared a minor staffing issue to a terrifying maritime disaster, it has emerged.

A NUMBER of Bovis houses have appeared on shelves at TK Maxx after recent damage to the brand.

HARDWARE and building supplies retailer Screwfix has introduced a ‘sexy and stylish’ dress code.

A WOMAN who has never visited a Waitrose still claimed it was her favourite supermarket in a consumer survey, she has admitted.

THE manufacturer of your backup hard drive has sent you a special love-themed offer for Valentine's Day.

STUDENT loans have been sold to an extremely hard bastard who hates students and is into cage fighting.

A WOMAN has stealthily reinstalled taxi app Uber after a week of condemning it on social media.

CURRY restaurants are facing bankruptcy after a lettuce shortage means they have no limp salads for diners to disregard.

IN an act of unprecedented generosity, Britain’s train companies have confirmed they will never set fire to your house.