Business

EVERY middle-class family believes Aldi is great for certain products but no two lists are the same, researchers have found.

A MCDONALD'S marketing meeting has decided that bereaved children will probably want some burgers.

AN unsuccessful pub is sure that its fourth landlord in eight years will finally make everyone like it again.

A WOMAN has sworn she will never again travel with Ryanair, having sworn the same thing on 12 previous occasions.

A SALES assistant who does not judge her customers has been given a final warning by a pretentious clothes shop.

A PSYCHOPATHIC monster has sent an email to a co-worker without expressing hope for their well-being.

ELECTRICIANS, plumbers and car mechanics have confirmed that if customers are ‘bloody difficult’ they pay at least twice as much.

A ‘LUCKY’ surfer has been rescued after surviving almost a full week in a soul-destroying position in an insurance office.

BRITONS face a race against time to spend their old £5 notes while they are still legal tender.