Business

New employee begins yet another conversation designed to find out who smokes weed

A NEW employee at a design agency has begun yet another conversation aimed at discovering which of his colleagues smokes cannabis.

People with loads of debt confident banks will return favour and bail them out

BRITISH households in dangerous levels of debt are confident that the banks will return the favour and bail them out this time.

Southern Rail improves dramatically after work experience kid takes charge

SOUTHERN Rail’s punctuality has improved by 68 percent after the franchise was taken over by a 16-year-old on work experience.

Cash in hand way better than 'rights'

CASH-IN-HAND payments are way better than sick pay, pension rights and all that other nonsense, tradesmen have confirmed.

UK businesses ‘not positive enough’ about huge meteor heading towards London

INTERNATIONAL trade secretary Liz Truss has complained that UK businesses are ‘ignoring the opportunities’ offered by the meteor set to impact central London shortly.

Women disgusting, says Dove

WOMEN are icky and only our products can save them, Dove has claimed.

Osborne takes seventh job in Greggs

FORMER chancellor George Osborne has taken a seventh job serving behind the counter of Greggs in Romford, it has emerged.

Rupert Murdoch awarded BBC

RUPERT Murdoch’s News Corp should be given the BBC to do whatever it wants with, Ofcom has ruled.

Business bullshit ‘vital’ for people who are bad at everything else

POMPOUS business bullshit is vital for maintaining the self-esteem of people who are crap at everything else, research has found.

Prince Andrew opens his f**king mouth

PRINCE Andrew has only gone and opened his fucking mouth about Brexit, the disgusted business community has confirmed.