Business

SCIENTISTS were shocked to announce the discovery of a man who is capable of giving to charity without attending an exclusive black-tie gala event.

THE directors of Carillion are half-inching as much gear as they can from the company's abandoned projects, it has emerged.

A SELF-EMPLOYED builder who owns his own lorry has bid for Carillion’s prison, hospital, school and Ministry of Defence contracts.  

A MAN who is constantly 'up to his eyes' in work always has an hour free to complain about just hard he is working, it has emerged.

AIRBNB users have been reassured by reports that only nine out of 10 AirBnB rooms have secret cameras recording their every move.

A VAST new company will ensure every last penny of your money is turned into profit for the private sector, the government has announced.

AN Uber executive has asked the European court if it can explain what a ‘taxi’ is again but slower because he still does not get it. 

A MAN has found and purchased something of use at a Christmas market, it has been confirmed.

THE threatened closure of Toys R Us has been linked by parents to it being easily the most expensive place to shop in the whole of the UK. 

THE UK has demanded that all the smug bastards who own bitcoin lose their entire investment before Christmas.