Business

A PROPOSED merger between Sainsbury’s and Asda will finally make middle-class Britain realise its imagined superiority is nothing but a lie. 

NORTHERN supermarkets are to start selling pesto, it has been revealed.

THE DIRECTOR of a mid-level marketing firm has demanded his team ‘get granular’ but won’t explain what that means.

BECAUSE we are Britain, in all its overpriced, lukewarm, rundown former glory.  

A MAN who spent three days with colleagues outside their normal environment has discovered they are all completely insane.

WORKPLACE success is largely based on picking the right moment to be a twat, a new study has found.

DENTISTS and serial killers have named Audis their favourite car for the eleventh year running.

THE government has hailed the lack of any gender pay gap for unpaid interns as a ‘triumph for equality’.

FACEBOOK users always had a sneaking suspicion that it would one day destroy them, they have confirmed.

FACEBOOK assumed it was common knowledge that they sold users’ personal information to the highest bidder, Mark Zuckerberg has confirmed.