Shop staff deeply touched by empathy of former retail worker

THE overworked staff of a busy clothes shop have found great comfort in the sympathy of a woman who knows what it is like because she worked in retail once. 

While Donna Sheridan’s dozens of hard-to-fold items were being packed, she gracefully took a moment to empathise with employee Lucy Parry by saying that she too had worked in a shop back when she was in sixth form.

Speaking through tears, Parry said: “When Donna took that whole minute to share that she, now a successful woman buying five tops at a time, had been where I am and pass on advice about cash handling not relevant since 1998, I was too moved to speak.

“Just knowing I faced a fellow soldier who understood the pressure got me through the rest of the shift. And she wasn’t afraid to get hands-on, pointing out I was folding her jacket wrong and showing me how to do it.

“Knowing she used to be one of us made the whole interaction so much more. Suddenly she wasn’t an annoying busybody customer but a fellow soldier down here in the trenches. And a ray of hope.

“If I ever make it out of here, if I ever end up earning halfway to six figures like Donna does, I’ll thank her. For taking that moment. For being so inspiring.”

Donna said: “All in a day’s work. Later I’ll tell a depressed friend that I was sad once, but I got over it.”

What you're terrified you did while drinking last night vs what you actually did

MORNING! Oh God, what did you do? How did unwinding with three bottles of wine lead to this? What is your pickled brain claiming happened and did it?

Started a fight with a bouncer

The ‘bouncer’ in question was a wheelie bin. It took no offence to your proclamations of it being a twat, which only seemed to inflame you more. Though you calmed down very quickly when you took a breather on a bench. In fact you slept, callously, while the bin lay wounded on one side.

Tried to seduce your mate’s girlfriend

This may have been what you thought you were doing. All anyone saw was you tell her that her hair ‘looked nice like a sunshine’ then pass out using her coat as a pillow. Occasionally your nose twitched adorably, like a rabbit’s.

Endangered yourself

Your brief stint in a shopping trolley wasn’t the safest mode of travel, but it was hardly a drunk driving rampage. Especially as the bloke pushing you got bored after 15 feet and you only realised when you woke up 30 minutes later.

Talked too much

No, due to spending the bulk of the night unconscious.

Made a tit of yourself in a way that will never, ever be forgotten

Your behaviour was likely tit-adjacent, but nobody cares or remembers, apart from the respect you get for a 20-minute snooze by the dancefloor at Popworld. Your mates are all busy cringingly combing through their own hazy memories of flashing a boob at an Uber.

Spent shitloads

This happened. Somewhere between naps you whipped out your debit card, bought sambuca shots and a round of some cocktail with a f**king sparkler in. This cost a week’s shopping budget, and not from Aldi.