Everyone stuck in meeting because some twat asked a question

A MAN who asked a f**king question at the end of a meeting is now the most hated person in the room.

Tom Booker, from accounts, callously raised the query at 4.43pm just as everyone was preparing to leave for the pub.

Colleague Emma Bradford said: “We were so close to getting out of there. I had even stopped pretending to listen.

“I don’t know why he did it. It’s not like he cares. We work for a corporation whose name I can’t even remember, it’s just some initials or something. LRN? JBW?

“Anyway let’s beat him up after work.”

Booker’s line manager Nikki Hollis said: “I feel a bit sorry for him. He’s getting death stares but he did bring up an important issue that needed to be dealt with there and then.

“Not really. I fucking detest that guy.”

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May warns Russia to assassinate people more responsibly

THE government has warned Russia to be more careful when trying to kill people.

After toxins were found in the vicinity of the attack on Sergei Skripal, Theresa May told Russian spooks to tidy up after themselves when murdering enemies on British soil.

The prime minister said: “If Russia continues to use dangerous nerve agents there will be serious consequences, such as a health and safety investigation by the local council.

“If they really must use deadly poisons that could harm the public we’d ask them to ring 999 beforehand so we can have a chemical warfare unit ready to detoxify the area.

“We have issued voluntary guidelines for foreign assassins which have been published on the gov.uk website, I strongly suggest Putin reads them or he could incur a £50 fine.”

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