'We would like to kill the show that you watch' says right-wing media

Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday
privacy

Vice-president to become president or what's the f**king point

VICE-PRESIDENT Kamala Harris should succeed Joe Biden or why even bother having one, the world has agreed. 

After decades of hearing the vice-president is ‘a heartbeat away from the presidency’, America is now irritatingly pretending there is no obvious candidate for the top job.

Martin Bishop from Woking said: “Is it me, or is a woman with the word ‘president’ in her job title staring us right in the face?

“Not calling myself an expert but she’s been shadowing the boss for four years, she knows the nuclear codes and where the toilets are, so replacing the president with the vice-president sounds like a logical move.

“No? Is this one of those things that makes sense to Americans but looks totally mental to the rest of the world? Like how they write dates with the month first.”

Lauren Hewitt, aged 19, said: “She’s got the experience, she’s got the qualifications, she’s done the diversity training but she can’t get promoted. This is exactly like me at Hollywood Bowl.

“It’s making me think as if Angela Rayner isn’t the second-best person in the Labour government, which she surely is.”