Sky reluctantly pulls broadcast of utterly f**ked up idea conceived by a madman

SKY TV has pulled the broadcast of its Michael Jackson comedy drama, after realising the whole thing was completely insane from start to finish.

Sky confirmed the show, Urban Myths, starring an upper class white Englishman doing a weird impersonation of the late pop star, was possibly the most fucked up thing in television history.

A Sky spokesman said the company had realised there were five quite distinct moments of total insanity:

Having the idea for the show
Agreeing to fund the show
Making the show
Telling people about the show
Watching the finished version and saying, ‘yes, let’s put this on television’.

The spokesman added: “It could actually have been worse. The role was originally offered to Sean Connery.”

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Bus driver wrongly thanked for bus journey

A BUS driver has been wrongly thanked at the end of a bus journey, it has emerged.

Tom Logan of Warrington confessed to being in a cheerful mood at the end of his journey when, before leaving the bus, he turned to the driver and offered his thanks.

He said: “I don’t know what came over me. I’ve thanked a vending machine for a packet of spicy Nik Naks before, but they’re just inanimate. They’re not engines of malice and resentment like bus drivers are.

“He wasn’t helping me personally by driving his route. He didn’t want thanks. I don’t think he’d ever received them before.

“I’m worried he’ll break down irreparably and they’ll make me pay for a replacement.”

A spokesman for bus operators Network Warrington said: “An incident took place earlier today where a bus driver was thanked.

“In this case luckily it was assumed to be sarcastic and no harm was done, but passengers should be aware of the severe danger risked by good manners.”

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