CLAIMING to be from the future is near-impossible to pull off, especially if you’re a pop star with stupid hair. These acts made the future look shit:
Sigue Sigue Sputnik
SSS’s vision of the future was super-camp Mad Max rejects in platform heels perfoming in front of stacks of old TVs. Sure enough, the future thus far has not involved everyone being into glam punk and looking a laughable knob. Though they did put adverts between tracks like free Spotify, so solid prediction there.
Kraftwerk
‘I am the operator with my pocket calculator’ alludes to mankind being enslaved by technology. But the first calculators were awesome and Kraftwerk had their own musical pocket calculator made by Casio. So really they were just Teutonic nerds who liked calculators. Case closed.
The Shamen
The Shamen loved a bit of technobabble, with vague concepts like ‘matter motion energy’ and ‘spacetime’. Unfortunately it wasn’t cutting-edge physics, just the ramblings of your mate who necked every pill going in the 90s and hasn’t been right ever since.
David Bowie
Ziggy Stardust was technically a space alien, but still futuristic. However this enigmatic, androgynous creature still resembled the blokes from KISS. It’s like Klaatu arriving on Earth to have an interminable jam session and ask if anyone can sort him out with some coke, which is the plot of The Man Who Fell To Earth.
Daft Punk
The robot helmets and song titles like Motherboard are deceptive. This is catchy, tasteful disco music that might help you get your leg over. About as exciting and ambitious as a sci-fi thriller about thermostats becoming self-aware.
Gary Numan
Gary created an impressively dark and paranoid future with Cars and Are ‘Friends’ Electric? He had a tendency to reuse the same tunes, but then he was a robot so fair enough. But do we really face a future where everyone is absolutely caked in eyeliner?