EVER loved a song until you heard it being murdered by 10,000 pissed-up football fans? They’ve probably ruined these others for you too:
Seven Nation Army – The White Stripes
The distinctive riff of The White Stripes’ Seven Nation Army is very simple, which makes it easy for legions of lager-fuelled football fans to bellow out. It’s popular throughout the world, with many different clubs and countries singing it, meaning you can hear your once-favourite indie hit being ripped to shreds at pretty much any match that happens to be on telly.
Sunshine on Leith – The Proclaimers
This song is a horrible dirge when performed by professional musicians, so by the time it’s been mangled by thousands of maudlin Hibs fans in an echoey stadium it sounds absolutely dreadful. It’s sung whether they win or lose, so it can’t be avoided by supporters of the opposing team whatever the result. The poor bastards. They’d probably rather have flares fired at them.
Go West – Pet Shop Boys
Given the problem football has with homophobia it seems unlikely that a song performed by two of the gayest bands the world has ever seen – the Village People and the Pet Shop Boys – has become such a famous chant. Yes, the fans changed the words to ‘One nil to the Arsenal’, but you’d think the average terrace lurker would be too worried about being called a ‘poof’ to dare to sing along.
Simply The Best – Tina Turner
Simply The Best is possibly the most mindlessly obvious song choice for your team, but football fans weren’t exactly going to sift through Everything but the Girl’s back catalogue for inspiration. Yelling one of Tina Turner’s worst songs at every match because the BBC once used it in a highlights package is about as imaginative and thoughtful as Glasgow Rangers fans get.
Sweet Caroline – Neil Diamond
Sweet F**king Caroline, as it should be retitled, is now sung at every England game, and even the women’s team are unable to escape it. It has no connection to football, and the first time it was played at a sporting event was during a Boston Red Sox baseball game, but it’s now ubiquitous at matches and we will all be miserably hearing it for the rest of our lives. Neil Diamond is probably sick of it too, but at least he gets royalties from the increased airplay.
