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New character on The Archers sounds suspiciously like Nigel Farage

RADIO 4 listeners have complained that a new character on long-running soap The Archers sounds a lot like Brexit Party leader Nigel Farage. 

Hamish Agrafe, an agricultural tools salesman who has just moved to Ambridge, spends very little time working and an excessive amount of time complaining to other characters about European elites stifling British vision, listeners have complained.

Fan Susan Traherne said: “First he embarked on a rant about how the unignorable economic benefits of leaving the EU without a deal when Pip Archer was just trying to settle the baby.

“Then he turned up in the Bull buying pints and lecturing the regulars about sticking up for the common man, even though he was clearly landed gentry.

“He spoke entirely in platitudes and outright lies which made him a pretty unbelievable character even for Borsetshire. Then I recognised his empty rhetoric from Question Time and realised it was bloody Farage.

“Apparently he’s being written out straight after the European elections, in a hastily-assembled plot where Jazzer kills him in a drug deal gone wrong and feeds him to the Bridge Farm pigs. Typical Archers.”

A BBC spokesman said: “It won’t happen again. Now have you met Radio 1’s latest star, DJ NoDeal?”

Mum tells kids she wrote 'Bohemian Rhapsody'

A MOTHER has admitted telling her small children that she wrote the classic Queen song Bohemian Rhapsody. 

Emma Bradford was singing along to the song on the school run when she rashly decided to claim credit for the 1975 hit.

She said: “You tell kids all kinds of shit and they never remember. But I am starting to worry that they might remember this.

“My logic was that they love me, they love my singing, so why not let them think that I was responsible for one of the defining rock songs of the 1970s? What harm can it do?”

Bradford added: “But if they tell their classmates or their teachers, do I go into the playground maintaining the myth that I wrote a six-minute rock opera? And Total Eclipse of the Heart.

“Fuck it, I’m going to front this out.”

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